Mall Patrons 2.0

eh hem.

In case you didn't know, I am a mall employee. I sit in a little faux-wood booth in the center of the commodified hustle and bustle, and I direct people to where the bathroom is located. I also answer phones to long winded individuals asking about the subtleties of Santa Clarita Valley, who in reality, probably just want someone to talk to. Now with this front row seat to civilization, I get to do a lot of people watching, which is both hilarious and depressing. And so we have now, for your entertainment...

The Top Mall Patrons of my Career!

(in no particular order)

1. Tig

Tig is this guy who, according to his Facebook fan page, is "A Friendly Guy We See all Around Santa Clarita" (sic). He has 1000+ Facebook fans.

Now, my experiences with Tig are very different than his loyal fans. When he's banned from the mall, which is quite frequently, I get dozens of phone calls a day from this man, asking for phone numbers to overseas toy stores, which of course, I need to look up for him. If you see Tig, he will inevitably tell you "sometimes people like to write on my hand. it feels real good."

2. Metal Head Guy

I love walking contradictions. Metal head guy prances around the mall with his long hair, his ripped jeans (with matching torn, jean vest), and a black t-shirt with the name of some morbid band name on it. Of course, metal head guy is also about 45 years old and sports Sketchers Shape Ups. Didn't know they were so popular with such a Motley Crue.

(This is an ongoing series that I will basically rely on to fill in the inevitable gaps in my blogging correspondence)

get happy,

amg