The Top Mall Patrons of my Career!
(in no particular order)
7. In almost every situation, I hate tourists. I hate looking like a tourist, I hate things that cater to tourists, and I hate the uniform of the tourist. Almost everything about tourists is deplorable. Except, ironically, their behavior in malls. For some reason, tourists often treat my mall as if it is a museum. I have seen entire families line themselves up in front of the most mundane of scenery, with the sort of grinless obligation only seen in depression-era photos, in order to preserve their family memories forever on 35mm. These families are entertaining to watch because of their complete lack of "American-ness," but are also appreciated because they are the only people that truly admire our malls 1992 era paint scheme and fake palm trees.
8. While it isn't unusual to see a 30, 40, or 50 something walking around the mall in his/her gym clothes, usually because they are too lazy to actually get dressed in the morning, mall walkers are a different phenomena entirely. Mall walkers are usually much older, say in their 70s or 80s, and they literally walk laps around the mall. They are often overweight and clearly haven't heard of sweatpants, made obvious by their lack of gym attire. While they are supposed to limit their mall-walking to 7-10am, a few can be seen at later and later times of day. The best part about the mall walkers is watching them dodge the clusters of 15 year old loiterers while maintaining their swift mall-walk pace. They usually take mall walking pretty seriously and will trample anyone who gets in their way. Don't let this guys smile fool you. Mall walkers are a serious mall subculture. get happy,
amg
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